On my mind is not this entry.
Its not the fact that I have to close lunch shift today.
Its the fact that I do believe Evan has to work with this morning. Rarely does that happen lately. And once his son is born, he wont be able to work dayshifts anymore. So this is very well my last chance to clear the air and settle all things I think I might feel.Cause honest to God, I dunno what the hell I feel about the guy. Crazy aint it? Sometimes I think there's all these guys that are so awesome to teach me a lesson to not rush things and take my time and I will find the one for me. Sure, Julie. When the hell will that happen?
Does anyone know the song "Complicated" by Carolyn Dawn Johnson? (Thoughgt Id clarify which song called "Complicated" that I meant cause there are two different songs by that name that I know)It makes me think of a friend of mine and no its not Evan. Its not Jake. I never talked about him on here in the way I think about him due to the fact that I believe he reads this site. Goes like this...
I'm so scared that the way that I feel,
Is written all over my face,
When you walk into the room I wanna find a hiding place,
We used to laugh, we used to hug,
The way that old friends do,
But now a smile and a touch of your hand,
Just make me come unglued,
It's such a contradiction, do I lie or tell the truth,
Is it fact or fiction the way I feel for you.
It's so complicated, I'm so frustrated,
I wanna hold you close, I wanna push you away,
I wanna make you go, I wanna make you stay,
Should I say it, should I tell you how I feel,
Oh, I want you to know,
But then again I don't,
It's so complicated.
Just when I think I'm under control,
I think I finally got a grip,
Another friend tells me that,
My name is always on your lips,
They say I'm more than just a friend,
They say I must be blind,
Well I admit that I've seen you watch me,
From the corner of your eye,
Oh it's so confusing I wish you'd just confess,
But think of what I'd be losing,
If your answer wasn't yes.
It's so complicated, I'm so frustrated,
I wanna hold you close, I wanna push you away,
I wanna make you go, I wanna make you stay,
Should I say it, should I tell you how I feel,
Oh, I want you to know,
But then again I don't,
It's so complicated.
I hate it 'cause I've waited so long for someone like you,
Should I say it,
Should I tell you how I feel,
Oh I want you to know,
But then again I don't,
It's so complicated.
Oh fuck what the hell am I kidding here huh? Its all in my imagination but my heart is feeling it a bit too. If youre out there and reading this and you think Im talking about you, dont tell me you think it is you. Its probably best left unsaid. But its the way I feel when I talk to you that makes me feel like this. But then again, Im crazy. Simply crazy.
Then again the next song after that on the CD is probably how Id wind up feeling if I was actually with this person. God I am such a head case.
Ok I need to do another thing online before I goto work. Later people!
Current music~"I don't want you to go"-Carolyn Dawn Johnson
da2kokib/al19fl
julie