This is an email and a reply I sent to an ex friend last year who tried to control every aspect of my life.Thought Id share it, cause Im lucky now. Cause I have REAL friends!
Subj: Heya Julie
Date: Mon, 19 May 2003 2:37:28 PM Eastern Daylight Time
From: Miyyani
To: NascarGirl1840
Considering the time that's gone by and the way we left things I'm sure you're surprised by this e-mail to say the least. Why am I writing? Well, I was browsing the net and saw Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers is about to go on sale and that reminded me of when we went to see it and how much fun that was. So I got to thinking about you and wondering how you are, if you and Kyle are still together, how you guys are doing, etc... You and I've had lots of fights, the last one was indeed a big one and I'm not gonna say you were wrong or I was wrong. I think we both were in the wrong. We both were stubborn and said things we probably didn't mean. I know there was some things you said to me that hurt and that I said back I'm sure hurt you.
The point is despite everything before we always remained friends and I was thinking about that. I will say right now Julie that I never lied to you about what Chris told me when he said you asked him about seducing Kyle. I promise you that. I even told my Mom the day he told me. That's why I got so mad when you took his side and called me a liar. I had no reason to lie about that. But I also agree that it wasn't my business concerning your sex life and to be quite honest I really didn't care if you and Kyle had had sex beyond the fact if you did I was hoping for your sake you two were careful about it. I was just worried that you were rushing into something (the engagement) without truly comprehending what you were getting into and honestly I know the ring meant something to you but you meant something to me and I thought you deserved him to get you a real (diamond) engagement ring. Even my mom said that. We knew you loved it but women love anything when it's given with a request for marriage they get so caught up in being excited and happy. Outsiders see things differently tho. We just thought that it was rushed and that if Kyle really loved you he would've saved and got you a diamond (no matter how small). Lord knows he had enough time to. It's not that diamonds mean anything more special than other stones, it's the fact that your man is willing to save to get one for you that's suppose to mean something truly special. It shows respect. It shows he thinks you're worth it. To me, him not willing to save to get you a proper ring was basically an insult to my little sister. It made me feel like he was saying you weren't worth saving for and that got me mad on your behalf. I mean you know Mom and I already thought he was being cheap at Hershey Park. We didn't want you to end up with a penny pincher. Thats a bad situation to be in if you're married. Even if you love the man to death. Love isn't all that makes the world turn as much as we'd like to believe otherwise. There are practical matters to consider like food, clothing, etc... You don't want to have to struggle more than is necessary or watch your children struggle. In my mind you deserve a man who loves you so much he'll spoil you rotten and do anything for you. So yeh, I was very disappointed when you showed me the ring. Not because it wasn't a pretty ring, it's very pretty, but because it made me wonder about his intentions. I know how much you love him but I was starting to question his love for you was as deep or as strong.Marriage isn't easy. It's hard. I didn't want to see you jump into something and end up getting hurt. I guess I should've tried to be more understanding myself as your "big sister" because I've been in your shoes when I was young and thought I understood things I really didn't get until I was a little older. I was trying to save you the pain I went through myself but maybe I should've just backed off and let you fall or stand on your own. That's what people had to do with me at your age. It's a learning process and we all have to go through it. If it wasa mistake you would've found out eventually and then I could've been there for you if you did. As it is right now I have no clue what's been happening. God forbid you two broke up and I wasn't there for you because of our stubborness. Or maybe you're still an item and we could've shared some funny stories and memories over the past few months.
The point is life is too short to fight with people for months on end. Especally people you love like family. There's a saying, "When people fight they fight. When families fight they war." LOL Like I said before, I was very upset and hurt when you didn't believe me about what Chris said. There are many things Chris has said behind your back I don't think you even know about or would imagine he'd say about you. Sometimes I think he was just trying to look cool. I dunno. I honestly don't care anymore. I think it was a mistake for me to ever become friends with him. You know how you got jealous over that? Well, I wonder now if Chris got jealous too over our friendship and tried to do what you tried to do with Chris and I. Only this time it may have succeeded because we obviously stopped talking.
At any rate, I'm not writing Chris. I told him off months ago. I'm completely fed up with him and his friendship never really mattered to me. Yours did though and since I'm the one who told you never to contact me again it's only right that I write you first. Let me know what you think. I'm moving to NY by the end of the summer. I would like it if I could hang out with my little sister again a few times before that.
Love lots,
Mia
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Subj: Re: Heya Julie
Date: Mon, 19 May 2003 20:49:06 -0400
From: NascarGirl1840
To: Miyyani
Mia,
I am sorry, but the way you treated me was and still is unforgivable. I do not like to be friends with someone who threatened to call the police if I ever so much as contacted you again. I dont know that it wont happen again, and I have a hard time believing you wont do it again.
I dont care if you told Chris off or not. That is none of my business and as a matter of fact I dont even care. He is still my friend and thats all that matters to me as of now.
And after you thought it right at the time to tell me what was right for me in my personal life I dont find it forgivable. Maybe if you didnt threaten me,and say you were ashamed to know me, and not to mention how you said Im too immature to make my own choices about my personal life(pertaining to Kyle that is)...I would be able to forgive and try to forget. But since you went as far as saying all that stuff, I dont think forgiving you or hanging out anymore is an option.
It isnt worth it to me to be friends with someone who did what they did. Its all in the past but as far as I see it,thats all we will ever have. Do not contact me again,not even a reply to this email because it will only be deleted.
Its nice to know I have friends that dont threaten to get me arrested if I have a fight with them. Thats what you did and thats all she wrote. Buh bye.