Something I never had~Lindsay Lohan
Do you see me
Do you feel me like I feel you
Call your number
I can not get through
You don't hear me and I dont understand
When I reach out I dont find your hand
Was it wasted words and did they mean a thing
And all our precious time but I still feel so in between
Some day I just keep pretending
That youll say dreaming of a diffrent ending
I wanna hold on but it hurts so bad
And I can't keep something that I never had
I keep tell myself things can turn around with time
And if I wait it out you could always change your mind
Like a fairy tale where it works out in the end
Can I close my eyes have you lying here again
Then I come back down
They dont pay back and
Then I realize its just what its just what might have been.
Some day I just keep pretending
That youll say dreaming of a diffrent ending
I wanna hold on but it hurts so bad
And I can't keep something that I never had
Am I a shadow on your wall
Am I anything at all
Anything to you
Am I a secret that you keep
Do you dream me while your sleeping after all
Some day I just keep pretending
That youll say dreaming of a diffrent ending
I wanna hold on but it hurts so bad
And I can't keep something that I never had
That I never had
I wanna hold on but it hurts so bad
And I can't keep something that I never had
You dont see me, you dont feel me like I feel you
**********
Today at work, I was talking to Josh and Jess, and Matt came over to look at the floor plan for tonight and he told me to find a door and leave. I told him thats the first thing he said to me in awhile. He said to make a right, then a left, and goto the door, or use the one in front of me. I stormed off and went into the back to talk to Tonya. She saw I was upset about something or other, but I didnt elaborate. Mike(manager Mike) was in the back where Tonya was and I dont need the management all up in my personal business. Apparently Matt doesn't know that his words, sarcastic as they are, can hurt sometimes. I am sorry everyone but I just cant get over him. I wish he was still with his ex g/f, Jamie. Cause once I accepted that, I was fine around him. I didnt have my emotions tangled up and beating me up. Oh my God, I just hurt so bad over him. I almost turned around today and said "You know what, Matt? Im sick of pretending. You wanted to know who youve been talking to. And Dan Kolb is the worst but deserves and Emmy." And I wanted to just tell him how sorry I am for keeping myself a secret. I wanted to. So, so, so much. But Im more afraid of consequences. So I cant. I never thought it'd be that hard to do. I know what you all are thinking. Tell him and be done with it, cause you'll feel a lot better. But you know how hard this is for me? Ive honestly never met anyone quite like him. But you know what? Part of me thinks this is very hopeless. But I wonder what could happen. I want to stop torturing myself over this. Someone smack me. Sheesh. Im such a moron...
Ok another subject. As seen in my previous entry, the Flyers did some defensemen shopping, so to speak. Welcome aboard all! Mike Rathje, who spent his entire career with San Jose(My Western Conference team of choice) is now a Flyer, along with Darien Hatcher, former Red Wing. Ehhh, but the worst news is last.
CHRIS THERIEN IS BACK!
He is the fucking most useless piece of shit the Flyers could have aquired. I thought they were smart in shipping his punk ass out of town the middle of the last season, but apparently Bob Clarke still decides that he wants to piss away money on him. Apparently, Jeremy Roenick was encouraging the Flyers to being back Chris. I dont know what the fuck planet that JR lives on, but here on EARTH, Chris Therien is a worthless piece of dog shit. He doesnt go after the puck, he dawdles around like a little ice princess, and he DOESNT EVEN TRY TO CHECK ANYONE! He is A WORTHLESS DEFENSEMAN! I would much rather see Ken Hitchcock(Flyers head coach) play defense than Therien. LOSER! Oh my GOD, I dont think I could be more angered at Bob Clarke right now if he decided to cut Robert Esche and make Sean Burke the first string goalie! Lord, help the Flyers...this is hands down the most pathetic and most useless thing that the Flyers organization for the team. Irresponsible, and boneheaded. GOD!
Ok now that Im done ranting and raving about Chris Therien (If you cant tell, I cant stand him!), Im gonna watch the end of the Phils game,as Ryan Dempster comes in the 9th inning to shut down the Phils. Comne on Cubbies, beat those Phils! Oh and the Braves are winning 12-1!
da2kokib/al19fl
julie