I am frustrated. Im happy sincerly for my happy friends but I want my turn. When is it? Where do I find this supposed quote unquote "real love" that everyone is finding but me? Im sick of waiting. Ive paid my dues, and watched everyone be happy but me. It sucks. It hurts. I wanna be the one who is smiling, happy, and who has someone. It sucks. It hurts. I am happy for my friends but at the same time I am insanely jealous. I want to have someone love ME unconditionally. To be my soulmate. What, am I some kind of horrible person to people and that is what is making no one want me? I know Im not beautiful and all, but I thought there were people out there and judged on things beyond looks. Im a nice person. At least I think I am. Maybe, maybe not. All Im asking is to be loved. By someone besides my friends and family. It really hurts that I cant find anyone who can apprieciate me. I really am a lost cause. Im sick of it. I really am trying to make sense of it all. Im not a bad person for being a bit jealous of my friends. Or am I? Probably am. Isnt jealousy like bad or something? Knowing my luck, it is. Figures. Bad shit is my life. Nothing ever works out, makes sense, or anything. I just want to be happy and feel loved by someone. But it isnt happening. And I feel like giving up.
Current music~"The Reason"-Hoobastank
da2kokib/al19fl
julie