Yesterday was fucking crazy. After work, I went to Target and bought two DVD's("Miracle" and "The Scout"), and the Katrina Elam CD(She sings the new song: "No end in sight").
I sit around at home and do the standings for the game I run on the Sterling Marlin board. Took a half a freaking hour! Sheesh!
Then I called my friend Darren in Louisiana. I know him from the Sterling Marlin board. That was an hour long call.
Then its 9 PM. Content, I change into my sweatpants and a Flyers tshirt and pop in "Miracle" and grin. Relaxation.
Then my cell rings. Its a number I dont know but its local.So I reluctantly answer. Its Evan, and he is at work and needs a ride home and to his friend's house. I say sure. So I meet him up at work and he asks if I want to goto Texas Roadhouse next door and have a drink on him for doing this for him. I say sure, but I have to make it something light cause I am driving, so I have a small strawberry rita'. He had two top shelf long island iced teas.
So we then get in my car and I start the engine and my stereo continues playing the song on the CD that I had one when I pulled up. The song was "The reason" by Hoobastank. I absolutely love that song. And he started singing along and I began the song from the beginning and we were both singing along and after the song was over, he asked me out of the blue if I have any regrets so far in my life. I gave him the 5 minute condensed version of the saga of the guy from New York that happened when I was 16. Some fo you know this sotry but Im not open to share this with the whole internet so if you want to know, just ask me. Well anyway. Evan then told me that I shouldnt regret it because Im still here and he says stuff like that makes you stronger, and regretting something that wasnt your own fault only brings you down. He then said and I quote.."I did some pretty ucked up things in my life and I have no regrets because I took life and grabbed it and didnt let it grab me." And at a red light, he told me he says he sees in my eyes that I am holding something back and that I need to break free, let loose and let the real me show. I topld him that no one ever told me that before cause I thought I hid that well enough. He said its stamped all over my forehead and its right in my eyes. He said he also wants to take me out sometime and just have a good time. I said ok. But Im not gonna ask him, he has to ask me. Then he asked me if I care about what others think about me. And I began to say "Yeah but..." and he made a buzzing noise. And I began again and he did the same thing. Then I refused to answer cause he was gonna make that noise again, lol. . Just then, we hit another red light and he took my hand and put it on his mouth and he said "My lips are sealed. Now speak." And I explainred how if its someone I care for, I do care what they think but if its someone I dont like, then I dont care what they think. Which is true. And he told me as long as Im true to me, I dont need to worry what anyone thinks. This is a side of him that no one ever sees at work. They all see him as this selfish jackass...
When we got to his friends house, I stopped the car in the parking lot and as he turned to unbuckle his seatbelt, I leaned over and touched his shoulder and told him to take care and he gave me a huge hug and said Im the best. I held on for as long as I could without making it obvious. As he left the car, he tuerned back before he shut the door and told me to think about what he was saying.
And I am.
Ok at work today, Justin came in for his paycheck. He was with Ashley. This is not the same Ashley who was hanging out with him at bowling. That Ashley is cool. THIS Ashley is the little bitch. And she admits to it. She wont do ANYTHING for anyone unless something is in it for her. I dont have to work with her much so its ok. But I was insanely jealous. I wanted to fucking hide. When Ashley was off talking to Alyssa, Justin walked by me and said "Hi Julie!" and he was smiling and I tightened my grip on the pile of dishes in my hands and said "Oh hi." and quickly walked into the kitchen. When I came back, he was gone. I felt so bad but I cant help that I was jealous.
Why does Evan have my mind all jumbled?
Fuck.
da2kokib/al19fl
julie