I had a bad day at work..long story. So I go home and change and go out shopping, cause a customer at work told me that KMart has some new Nascar shirts in! Ok, so here I am going down a road that I know very well. And boom. I take off my right side rearview mirror, crack the mirror of another car, and scratch their paint. Now, given, if the person wasnt outside, Id have left a note, cause Id have a really horrible guilty feeling. But the guy was yelling "STOP! STOP!", so I did. According to the guy,it turns out that about 2-3 people a month on this street lose a mirror on their car. I was not even going the speed limmit, which was 25...grrr. Were not taking it through the insurance companies. My mirror is going to only cost $45 to get fixed up. So his cant possibly be any more, cause his was only cracked. But he also got paint damage on the car too, so there goes some more money. I swear to God, Im such an ass. I traveled down this road how many freaking times in my life???? Why the HELL did I choose to go shopping tonight? Why not tomorrow when I was planning to? Why the HELL AM I SUCH A DAMN ASS?
*cries*
At least the guy was nice. He said "If you wanna pick me up, hit on me, not my car" and "Want to join the club of people who take mirrors off? There's a secret handshake!". He was kinda cute...but still. I feel like a fucking ass.
I couldve just drove off. And only have paid for the damage on my car. No one wouldve known. I couldve made the quick left turn and have been gone. No, I had to be honest. If the saying "What comes around, goes around" is true, then I better get some good coming to me.
I freaking hate myself tonight.
I do not deserve a damn thing tonight. Im punishing myself. Im 20 years old, and am punishing myself. Yeah how fucking mature of me. Honestly, I swear if its not one thing, its another. I cant get a grip on my life. When I think I have a grip, something goes wrong.
I hate myself.
Screw the game tonight. I might not even watch it.
I might watch '8 Simple Rules' though. Maybe. That is if I can hold myself together.
I tried to call Jill. No answer.
Chris. Voice mail.
Maybe I will call myself. Good plan. Then I can curse myself out. I deserve it.
Curse me out.
Please. I can not stand myself.
How could I have been so dumb?
Sheesh.
I need food. I need something to do. That I cant destroy. Oh too late. I destroy everything.
15 more minutes and Full House reruns are on for an hour.
I will try to call Chris tonight. Maybe. I dont know if I should bug him...
Later
da2kokib(David Akers #2, keep on kickin' it baby!) & al19fl(Adam LaRoche #19 for life)
~~julie